Sometime ago I wrote about age difference in relationships where I gave some examples of real life couples, celebrity couples, women who married or are dating men younger than them. Among the examples I mentioned in that article was the relationship of Lola Omotayo and Peter Okoye, Peter of the multiple award winning Psquare musical duo.
Surprisingly since I wrote that article (and it's been over three months since), the two top searched terms bringing people to this site is lola omotayo age, how old is lola omotayo. Even though that article wasn't about them.
I was surprised to see how much people cared about the age of Lola Omotayo. And the exact age difference between her and Peter Okoye. Since you care to know I decided to write more on the issue of age gap relationships.
Note: This is not a gossip site so I don't write about celebrities because honestly what they do is none of my business. And I'm honestly irritated when others make the activities of celebrities their business and become the judges over their lifestyle. So this article isn't one of those gossip articles you find around. In this article I am simply using their relationship as a case study (especially since obviously it interests a lot of Nigerians) to further point out some important issues about age gap in relationships and what determines the success of relationships.
We Nigerians are very traditional people. We hold on to tradition, what's generally expected and accepted and what we've always known. And we often resist anything contrary. So it's understandable that many of us will make a big deal about the fact that Lola married a man much younger than her.
We're not really sure hw old Lola Omotayo is. But we know she's much older than Peter. When their relationship became public Peter was in his twenties while Lola was in her thirties. The first time I read about their relationship it was from an Entertainment magazine. And if I remember correctly she was said to be 9 years older than Peter. But then later I read somewhere online that she was only over 6 years older than him. So the age difference between them should be between 6-9 years. Peter was born 18th November 1981. So as at writing Peter is 32 years. So Lola should at least be in her late thirties.
You're reading about Lola Omotayo's age for a reason. Is it that you think it's weird for her to marry a man much younger than her? That their love can't possibly be real? Do you think two people can't make a successful relationship when the woman is older than the man?
Lola isn't the first woman to marry a man much younger than her. It's been happening for a long time especially among celebrities worldwide. In the western world women have long been doing it. But in Nigeria here when a woman marries a man much younger we immediately conclude it must be for financial gains. And yes, in some cases, especially when the age difference is so much that it's almost ridiculous, like a woman of 35 years dating or married to a young man of 20, it's very likely that it's for the financial gain. But in such case if there's someone marrying for the money it will be the young man not the woman who is much older.
Lola is the one who is older so she couldn't have possibly married someone younger than her for the money. Instead if any of them did, it should be Peter. But the Psquare musical career is so successful that he doesn't need to do that. Even though it could be argued that he started dating her for the money, since they met when Peter wasn't much of a celebrity yet. But if that was the case, now that he has made it big, he could easily have broken up with her. He wouldn't have been the first to do that. The singer Soul E who we heard was 11 years younger than Ure dated her for sometime but later they broke up. So Peter could have done that too.
So if it's not for financial gains why did Lola marry Peter who is much her junior?
Only she knows and she's shared her reason with us in a publication where she talked about her relationship with Peter.
I love Peter because he was never intimidated. When I met him, he was just trying to build himself and I was very proud of him. I have a lot of respect for him, his talent and I saw that he had a vision. Peter doesn't get intimidated by anything; in fact, he supports and encourages me all the time…Peter is very romantic as well. He does things that an average Nigerian guy will not do. There was a Valentine's Day that he came to my house with a guitar and played some love ballads for me. That was really cool and I loved it. Those are the little things that he does that really touched me.
And why did Peter marry a woman who is much older than him?
Peter through his Twitter account said shortly after Lola's publication on their relationship was published online and to defend Lola from people who were saying negative things about her.
She accepted me wen I had nothing. Now dat I ve achieved a lot. Respect her 4 that. E no easy. Met dis woman wen I had nothin… she's a blessing 2 me…..shhhh don't talk like u knw her. Cos u don't.
That also confirms that they started their relationship before Peter became famous.
In the part 2 of the articles I wrote on age difference in marriage relationships I made it clear that age gap relationship can be very successful. The beginning of the success of such relationship is when the age difference doesn't matter to the two people involved in the relationship. And clearly in the case of Lola and Peter it doesn't.
Lola is quoted to have said in one interview that:
Peter is an old soul and he always tells me that I'm like a 23-year-old. Age is just a number. Right now, you can see it around the world. Demi Moore, Usher and some known people. Even in Nigeria here, they are dating people far older than their age. So, we shouldn't base it on the age factor. He doesn't make me feel like he's younger than me.
Now the reasons for the success of their relationship regardless of the age issue is clear.
With these four things in place age difference in relationships wouldn't affect the success of such relationships. And anyone can make such relationship work; celebrity or not. I on two occasions have dated a man I was older than. Though the age difference wasn't as much as that of Lola and Peter. But in one case my age gap with my boyfriend was more than 3 years. The difference wasn't obvious to others though. No one knew I was older except the two of us. And that relationship so far was the best of love relationships I've had.
When the age difference is much and obvious to others at first sight, there will be challenges to deal with. And even more challenges when it involves a celebrity like is the case of Peter and Lola. Both of them, but especially Lola has had to put up with a lot. People have called her so many degrading names. And our society will never stop scrutinizing their relationship. But if the relationship was started for the right reasons then no matter what, it will stand the test of time like has been the case of Lola and Peter.
During all this time Lola and Peter have stood by each other when the society judged their relationship especially when Lola seemed to be contented with just being his Babies mama.
"Love endures all things" the Holy book said.
In Nigeria many of us seem to defend love by mere words. When it comes to actually demonstrating it, that's where many of us fall short. I don't support a woman having kids before getting married. That wasn't how God planned things to be. However I respect any woman, especially a Nigerian woman, who knows what she wants and fights for it. Annie, now Annie Idibia, 2Face's wife and Lola Omotayo have clearly stood by the man they love and fought for love. Although I'll never advice a woman to put up with cheating in a relationship, neither will I myself tolerate it especially as many times as Annie did. But their strength and determination does deserve some admiration.
Say what you may, but Lola and Peter as of this moment couldn't be happier. Peter Okoye after many years of being in relationship with Lola and after she's given him two beautiful kids, a boy and a girl named Cameron and Aliona Okoye, he finally proposed to Lola on August 2013 with a 15 million naira worth Range Rover Vogue!
Lola of course accepted with Joy. Who wouldn't?!
It is a day the Lord has made. I'm excited the way any woman in my shoes would.
And Peter had this to say about his proposal to Lola.
It is something I had always wanted to do and I knew I would definitely do this to Lola one day, but I needed to wait for the right time. Honestly, she deserves even more from me.
She is a wonderful woman. She has virtually all the qualities that every man would want in his ideal woman. She's caring, loving, God-fearing, hard working and just name it, that's my wife for you. No man will not want to spend the rest of his life with a woman that possesses the qualities I mentioned. The truth is that we have always known that the wedding will come up. We just didn't want to rush things unnecessarily. We waited for the right time
And on November 17th 2013, part of Lagos Nigeria stood still as Lola and Peter did their traditional wedding.
And Peter Okoye is a contented and fulfilled man.
I am very excited today because I am getting married to a very wonderful woman. She is a very strong woman who has stood by me through it all. I know she will make me a happy man.
And recently he shared a link via twitter to one of the wedding photos of his beautiful wife, Lola.
Yes, she is beautiful indeed! And I, from the bottom of my heart wish them a happy married life. And I hope both of them continue to appreciate themselves and what they have between them. And build on their bond so it gets stronger.
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