This article on age gap relationships is a response to the relationship question asked by Niyi about an older man younger woman relationship prospect.
I am 35,good looking and looking younger than my age, never been in any relationship in my entire life. Simply because I have had practically no time to think about marriage or relationship until lately. The first lady I'd ever feel could be a wife is a 200 level college student in somewhere around 20. Considering the age gap, I get disturbed that she might not want to marry somebody of my age. I have not made my intention known to her. I really love her and ready to wait till she will graduate if she will want to marry me. Please what's you advice?
Niyi, reading through your message I am worried for you. And for good reasons.
You've never been in a relationship. If you for the first time give your heart to someone and it doesn't work out, it may scar you permanently emotionally.
She's only 20. To put it like my sister would say, with such age gap there will be a "generation gap" between you too. You're one decade and a half older than her. Things that impress her may not mean anything to you. Actually you may even be irritated by some of them as she may be too by yours. It's inevitable that with such age difference you'll both have different habits and tastes. You'll be talking about saving to buy a land to build a house for example and she'll be talking about why she must have the latest smart phone. So having a woman that may not be able to plan with you because that isn't what interest her at her age, may have future consequences.
Again she's only 20. You're right to be disturbed that she may not want to marry someone your age if she decides to marry in the next few years.
Say you talk to her, and she's into you too, or feels she is (some young girls in school actually date much older men deliberately to set themselves apart from other school girls, in attempt to show they're more mature and therefore don't date small boys like other girls. That's before their friends start mocking them about it), and you start to date. You invest your emotions, time and money in her. And 2 or 3 years later she graduates from college. And you think "oh, finally now we can get married!" But she turns to look at you and say "No I can't marry you. You're too old for me. I'm sorry" What would you do?
By then you'll be at least 37 years old. A 37 year old man that have only loved once. But whose only love broke his heart. The wasted time and emotions. Do you think you'll be interested in trying again with someone else? Would you be able to handle it?
I've written some articles on age gap relationships. And from the articles you'll see I personally don't have anything against it. Actually I think age gap relationships can be successful. However in your case I fear your needs and interests will be very different. You would have stood a better chance if you were 40 and she was 25. At 25 many women are done with all their childish way of thinking, interests and wishes. By that age many women have their priorities clear. And if a 25 year old woman tells you the age gap doesn't bother her, she likely means it more than a 20 year old.
But at 20 and in college she likely will be more interested in socializing with her kind including dating boys in school. At 20 I was just about entering college and I definitely wasn't thinking about marriage or interested in dating someone that much older than me.
Women in general are becoming more sentimental about the age difference between them and their love interests. You hear very ridiculous statement sometimes from them. Often you'll hear them say they can't marry a man that is more than 3 years older than them. I'm not exactly sure the rationale behind that. But 15 years gap for many women regardless of their age will be too much. Even for me, a 15 years age gap will have to meet some terms for me to consider it. See my second article on age difference in marriage relationships for what I mean by that.
There are exceptions of course. I mean she could be the exception. There are 20 year olds who have their priorities straight. There are 20 year olds who are mature enough to know what true love means and what commitment is all about. They can listen, give advice and support to their love partner. And there may also be 20 years olds who do not care about 15 years age gap.
So you could give it a shot and see what she says and where it leads. But have it at the back of your mind that if she accepts you she could change her mind anytime. Especially if she later finds a man within her own age that interests her; which she likely would.
If I were in your shoes, I'll look someone else for love. I hate uncertainties. And your age gap could cause you to always worry about her leaving you for someone younger if she accepts to have a relationship with you. And such insecurity isn't healthy for a relationship.
If you have questions base on my response you could leave me a comment below this page.
If you don't mind finding love somewhere else, then why not consider setting up a free profile on this site to look for a wife. A few people have now found true love and hoping to soon make a life time commitment to eachother by getting married. You could find someone just right for you too.
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