Commitment ring - Should you asked your Boyfriend for one?

A commitment ring especially means there's someone special in the life of the person wearing the ring and they both are committed only to each other; at least for now. It's a sign of a monogamous relationship.

Other names for a commitment ring are promise ring and friendship ring. See the article on what is a promise a ring

Should I ask my Boyfriend for a Committed Ring?

I understand why you may want to wear such ring. After all which lady will be dating a young man she's proud of and not want to tell the whole world about it?!

It's what we do best. And such desire usually comes from being in love and being truly proud to be, being the romantic that we usually are and a sense of loyalty.

I remember the days of my early youth when I start to fall in love with someone new how quickly I would want to change the name of that someone special on my phone to something romantic "my love" "my prince" "my world" and even want to use his picture as my screen saver!

We usually quickly want to flaunt the man in our lives and show we're in a relationship. And usually men don't think that way. And it usually doesn't mean they love us any less, but they're just not designed that way; at least not most of them.

So why you're thinking of wearing a commitment ring to show your commitment to him and your relationship he's likely not thinking about it. So is it wrong if you ask him to give you a commitment ring?

Well, asking a guy for such ring could scare him and that's even if he loves you and you're the only one he's with. And that's because he may start to think he's being pressured to marriage already; especially if the relationship is still young.

And you won't fault him because a commitment ring is better used as pre-engagement ring; the ring before the marriage proposal later. So it's a big deal for some even though you may just want to wear it for fun. Your man may not see it as fun and I don't think it should be worn for just fun either.

So before considering whether or not to ask your boyfriend for a ring, ask yourself if you're ready for such commitment. Don't just be willing to wear a ring for any guy just to show to people you're monogamous in your relationship. And that's even when he's the one asking you to wear one. Don't ask or accept to except you'd decided that when it comes down to it this is a man you can spend the rest of your life with. A man that treats you like the lady that you are and makes you happy.

If he's such a man should I ask him for a ring then?

Well you can if you're old enough and your relationship is also old enough. But it's always better if he offers it instead. But if he isn't offering and you really want a serious commitment from him then you can push him to offering. Tell him regularly without becoming obvious of course how much you love him, how much your relationship means to you and how much it will make you happy to share your love with the whole world someday. If he's committed to you and ready to go the next step you might just end up getting the real thing from him - an engagement ring.

A Ring doesn't Make a Commitment

If you think because a man gives you a commitment ring or even agrees to wear one with you means he will actually be committed to you, then think again! A ring wouldn't stop a man from cheating if he wants to. What you'll achieve instead if you get him to give you one when he didn't offer is to help him perfect is pretending skills. You will no longer see him for who he really is except the man you want him to be.

Personally I don't want to wear any ring from a man except an engagement ring and a wedding ring. Real commitments are made by two people honestly in love and no ring is necessary to prove that. It's either there or not.

Moreover you especially want to be careful of flaunting rings around if you're a single Nigerian lady. The westerners don't take some things as seriously as we do here. And as for wearing rings most of them there are familiar with the different types of rings and their meanings and there even seem to be silly rings that people wear for fun. Most of them at least are familiar with seeing ladies wear rings and wouldn't misunderstand them for what they're not except it's a diamond ring.

But here in Nigeria when men see almost any ring in your finger they assume you're spoken for especially when it's on your left hand middle finger; even when sometimes it's just a jewelry. And once you've been tagged spoken for some eligible men who would have been interested in you wouldn't dare come for you.

I remember sometime ago when I bought a jewelry, a necklace that came with a nice ring. I don't wear rings. But that ring was beautiful and tempting to wear. But I quickly stopped wearing it when one day when I wore it my elder sister's male friend saw it and was happy for me and asking me who was the lucky man. I told him no one that it was just a jewelry. He then seriously advised me against it that if he mistook it for a commitment/engagement ring that likely other men would too.

So be wise; even when in love. I've seen a 9 years relationship broke off. Don't wear anyone's ring. If the person loves you enough he'll buy an engagement ring and propose to you when he feels you both are ready for the next phase of your lives but especially him because he's the one with the most responsibility to take on when it comes to getting married and building a home; especially financially.

A ring wouldn't make a man who doesn't want to commit to you suddenly commit to you so don't get things twisted.

What Hand and Finger do I wear a Commitment Ring

What if your man is giving you a commitment ring and you love and trust in him and your relationship enough to agree to wear one, what hand and finger should you wear it on?

Well, different people have different opinions as to which hand to wear a commitment ring. So it essentially depends on your preference.

Here are the options available to you:

  • Wear it on your right hand middle finger or ring finger (fourth finger) that way if and when you do get your engagement and wedding ring you want to keep wearing your commitment ring, you can.

  • Wear it on the same finger as an engagement ring, that is left hand middle finger or ring finger that way it's never mistaken for a jewelry. Also if and when you get your engagement ring you simply do away with the commitment ring and replace it with your engagement ring showing a deeper level of commitment.

Of course there are special rings for commitment/promise rings and they come in different designs.

Diamond Cluster Split Shank Promise Ring in 10K White Gold Diamond Cluster Open Shank Fashion Ring in 10K Gold Diamond Promise Ring in Sterling Silver and 10K Rose Gold Diamond Heart Promise Ring in Sterling Silver

Images from

Guess what? After writing this article just before publishing I found an article of how a couple designed their own matching commitment ring and I almost wanted to wear one! It's so unique with a good story behind it. Read the article DIY matching commitment ring. You may just realize you too can design your own unique matching rings with a good meaning; that is if you and your other decide you want to wear a commitment ring.

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