There are thousands of pages online offering free marriage compatibility test. Usually these pages are made up of questions about the character and attitudes of you and your intended.
Often the questions are so funny that they don't help you in any way. And they weren't meant to anyway. Some are just set up for the fun of it.
Even the ones that are supposedly serious and meant to help you determine if you're compatible for marriage with your fiancé/fiancée or should I say boyfriend/girlfriend because I think before answering honestly to the question "Will you marry me?" you should already be sure about your compatibleness. Not wait to build up hopes and wedding planning already started before finding help to see if you're compatible. I mean what will you do if you realize at the last minute that you're not?
Anyway, you're here to do a marriage compatibility test, so let's get on with it. Though there won't be any asking and answering of questions because I'm sure that won't help you. So this article is about giving practical tips for marriage compatibility assessment and then you can decide if you're compatible with your intended or not.
Compatibility is necessary for two intending couples. But I'll say it right away that the fact that you're compatible with someone doesn't mean the marriage will work and that you're not doesn't mean the marriage will fail. If you're compatible with your boyfriend or girlfriend and you're considering taking the big step of getting married, then the fact that you're compatible increases the odds of it working out. But what if you're not compatible and you both love eachother, should you go ahead?
It depends. There are different stages of compatibility. How serious is yours?
I'll try to explain with a true story.
The relationship I consider to be the best relationship I've ever had was with someone I was not at all compatible with. I'm full of life, cheerful, playful and he's was very serious. For example, in my leisure I like to watch TV programs, movies and drama series. But he complains every time he's with me and I'm watching TV. He'll always ask me: "What are you gaining from this?" All he enjoys watching are gospel teachings and miracle performances from church pastors. And I found that annoying for some good reasons.
He wasn't a guy that could even express his emotions when we just started dating. I mean saying the word "I love you" was almost like asking him to denounce Jesus Christ. But eventually I rubbed off on him and that wasn't a problem anymore.
As serious as he was, we still had a great relationship because we were compatible in the areas that matters most. We were both honest to a fault, we were both very communicative and we had similar jobs. I was an online content publisher (and still am) while he was into web designing. So aside our relationship matters we could relate and share ideas about work. And we did that a lot. There was always something to talk about. We were both always willing to compromise and adjust. And God! He was so self-sacrificing. He hardly thought of his needs he was always concerned about my needs and willing to sacrifice for me. Honestly I doubt there are still many men of such selfless attitude. But why did we break up?
Eventually we couldn't continue because of different religious beliefs. We thought we could make it work regardless but eventually it was obvious he didn't want to hear of my religion and didn't want to even think of it that someday I'll introduce my (our) kids to my Christian faith. Now that is serious. God is an important part of our lives and an important part of marriage so it helps the marriage greatly if couples have the same understanding and beliefs about God and/or the best way to worship him.
So as great as it was, the relationship, we had to part ways.
What I'm sure of is, the decision of who to marry should be made based on something more than "oh he loves me and I love him too" there are other important things you must consider because you're not just deciding on who to marry you're also deciding on who to make the father or mother of your children. So other questions should be considered like does he have the maturity to be an exemplary father to your kids?
When we imagine our lives together with a man or woman as a couple there are often things we see, things we want in a marriage mate. Now some of those things we'll consider non negotiable. And some are negotiable.
Now for an effective marriage compatibility test ask yourself these questions:
What are those things you want from a mate that is not negotiable? Write them down. And then honestly consider how your boyfriend or girlfriend measure in these areas.
Now what are those things that doesn't really matter as much to you?
I'll give you an example.
You already know I'm playful. I talk a lot too and I like to make people laugh. Now I've always had friends tell me that "if you can find someone with same personality as you, you'll have a great marriage!
That means someone full of life, someone that instead of telling me I talk too much will actually enjoy it. Someone that will be so free, down to earth and have zest for life.
And I secretly wish for that too; that I'll meet such a person. But the truth is that it is not really important to my marriage working out or not. If I don't find someone with my personality it doesn't mean that I wouldn't be happily married.
To be able to find someone with same personality as me will be a great plus, a big bonus. Same thing with finding someone who understands what I do as I do like to be able to talk about work and share ideas with my mate. But these things aren't so critical to having a successful marriage. Moreover they are traits that can be influenced in a person.
If you notice above I said what are those things that doesn't really matter to you I didn't say to having a successful marriage; because though some criteria we look for aren't important to having a happy marriage at the surface but it may be to us.
For example, I feel proud when I walk with someone well framed. I feel much less proud when I walk with someone small in stature. You know, a man that looks like a boy. Now while others may not consider this to be a good reason to turn a suitor down, I have turned a few down as a result because it will be terrible if I'm married to someone I'm not proud of his look. And I have to turn my head each time a mucho person passes by and I wish he was my man.
So if you know the absent of a feature, quality or attitude in a person bothers you greatly and it's something you can't change, then it's better to keep searching. And also you can either accept someone as he or she or forget it. Don't marry someone with the hope that he or she may change in the future.
So how do you know if you're compatible for marriage with your intended?
There's no marriage compatibility test and no science that can tell you for sure if your marriage to a certain someone will work or fail.
For a successful marriage sometimes a bit of luck is involved because no matter how much you think you know someone, after marriage you'll later detect traits you never thought he or she had. Not even if you court for 10 years can you really be guaranteed of knowing someone completely. Some have met and immediately got married and are enjoying a happy married life while some courted for years still they're not happily married.
So nothing prepares you completely for a successful marriage simply because life is unpredictable. You could be faced with unforeseen challenges in future and sometimes the lack of mature coping skills can change your character or that of your intended to someone you never knew.
That is why it is important that a woman and a man considering marriage should both be matured. And this maturity doesn't necessarily come with age. You both should be able to adjust to different types of personalities and conditions and have the maturity of handling matters as two grown adults.
I believe that as long as there's love between two people and they are very communicative, considerate, tolerant, trusting and open to change or make compromise when necessary, a marriage between them stands a good chance of working out.
Having a successful marriage needs continuous effort from both couple. As long as both continue to put their effort like same effort they put when cutting the wedding cake, each one holding to his own side of the rope and continue to pull, then they'll be able to deal with whatever challenges life throw at them later.
Approach marriage with the commitment to make it work and be sure your intended has same level of commitment and consider the examples above.
I wish you the best in your marriage compatibility test of your intended and hope it all works out well for you and you soon walk down the aisle with the love of your life and with the hope of a happy long lasting married life.
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