Marriage Night Sex - No Worries Take the Pressure off to get the Pleasure On

There is lots of good advice here, but I don't agree with the overarching premise. Since most newlyweds and spouses-to-be are young and I am old, please allow me to share some advice from someone whose wedding night was awhile ago.

Presumably people get married because they are in love, respect each other, have common interests, and just plain dig each other in all kinds of ways. Their objective going in is to spend a lifetime with their spouse, with all that a lifetime together entails.

In this context, while sex is important and should always be an important and enjoyable component of any marriage, it is not the most important thing to get perfect. And sex on one's wedding night even less important.

Don't get me wrong--no one's saying that incredible sex on your wedding night is not something worth hoping for and aspiring to. But don't worry if it doesn't happen that way. Few marriages are doomed because of bad sex on the wedding night.

Young women fear that men will leave them if their technique is lacking. Young men worry about being "too small" to keep a woman interested. Both are patently untrue and border on the ridiculous.

If a couple loves each other and trusts each other, good sex will come. If not the first time, then on the tenth. And if not the tenth, then the hundredth.

The advice in this article I think may be even more valuable to the couple married 20 years than to the newlyweds.

There is no such thing as someone so incapable of sexually satisfying his or her partner that a marriage is jeopardized. There is more risk when one or both of the two don't want to try or become selfish or lose interest completely.

But if you try your best, communicate consistently, and love your partner, you have nothing to fear and nothing to be lost even by an episode of the worst sex ever, whenever it might occur. Even if it's on your wedding night.

So take the pressure off yourselves. Enjoy your wedding night no matter what happens! And enjoy your marriage and your life and keep it real. If the sex on your wedding night is absolutely mind-blowing but a year later your spouse is found to be a drunk, sleeping around, a criminal, abuses you, takes drugs, etc. etc. etc., you wouldn't overlook those things due to the great sex that first night, would you? Then don't preoccupy yourself from fear of the opposite--that all the great things about you that drew your spouse to you to start with will be thrown away because the sex didn't meet some arbitrary expectation.

To think otherwise just feeds into a stereotype that is unrealistic, unfair, and quite simply untrue.

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