Marriage proposal tips for Nigerian men who don't see the need in proposing before marrying a Nigerian woman and for Nigerian women who dream about it; now your dream would come true with the proposal tips in this article.
Don't forget to share with your friends when you're done reading it, you might be lucky and your boyfriend might just be among your friends who would find it to read.
Enough is enough. It's about time things changed and for our men to realize that making a marriage proposal isn't about a western culture rather a little way to demonstrate their love for us and show how much we mean to them now that they want us to spend the rest of our lives with them.
Marriage proposal that is a man going down on one knee to ask a girl to marry him is something not common among most average men in Nigeria. And I don't think it's because our men are not romantic. I believe more than anything else it's about culture. It's not just in our culture. In many civilized countries a marriage almost never happens without a proposal first. Here, the most some of our average men do is to buy an engagement ring and give it to their girl. No one knee to the ground and asking "will you marry me"
Like I said it's more of a culture thing than anything else. And our women don't object either. Some mind, no doubt, but they just don't complain. The men assume that the women knows they're going to get married because of course they would have talked about it.
So why bother asking her again through a proposal right? So instead they just say let's arrange to go see your family. And the women are contented enough that the man they love wants to marry them that they don't even give it a thought that he didn't do the one knee thing.
Why should that even matter? Isn't what matter is you're marrying the man you love? He needs and wants you and you need and want him too, so what does it matter really?
Yes, what's important is that you're both in love and he's decided to spend the rest of his life with you and wants to start the arrangement by meeting your family. That's great.
But here's why a marriage proposal is necessary...
A marriage proposal to the whole process of marriage is more of a formality because a man wouldn't be asking a woman to marry him if he didn't already almost know that she wants to. However it's important to create special memories in a relationship. If you rule a proposal out as unimportant and then rule out honeymoon as unimportant (which is also common in Nigeria) then it's likely you'll also see going out and spending time together when you can as unimportant too. In that case what memories do you have together that is worth looking back to someday with joy and love?
Then marriage becomes nothing more than a serious business of boring sex and procreation. You need to create these memories not to copy another man's culture because that's what most of our men insist on that things like that are, but to bond more with the person you love and create memories together that will last a life time. There's no culture about creating beautiful memories with someone you love.
Moreover the marriage proposal is one of the few opportunities a man has to express his love for his woman in an humble way ; away for men to show their gentle side even submissive side. Going down on one knee is the man's way of telling the woman "see, you are worth it. I can do anything for you, I love you that much."
And it also helps the marriage later because when things get crazy later in the marriage, because that is sure to happen, no marriage is a continuous smooth ride, the proposal is one of the memories the wife will remember with smile and remind herself the reason she loved and married her husband in the first place. And if the woman was already resigning herself to being in an unhappy marriage for some reason, remembering her husband's proposal for marriage among another memories could encourage her to at least try to rekindle their love, to find the man she fell in love with if he seems to have disappear over the years.
Some Nigerian men have said the attitude of some of our women is the reason they don't propose. They claim the women are so pushy with marriage that they'll just want to get it over with. That when a Nigerian man makes the decision by himself to get married to his girlfriend without being pushed by his girlfriend to do so he would ask her to marry him on one knee before planning a wedding with her.
Like they say, he who wears the shoe knows where it hurts the most.
So since that's what some of our men give as the reason for not doing the traditional proposal, then my first tip will be don't be pushy!
Of course if you're ready to settle down and you've been in a relationship for some time, you should discuss it with your man. And there are mild ways to discuss the topic and see what his plans with you are without being pushy. Like "Ha, I'm ready to marry o. All my mates are getting married even the ones that met their husbands much later than we met. If you're not ready tell me let me find another suitor." Words like that will make a man grudgingly marry you that's if he likes you enough and if that happens he wouldn't put as much effort as he would if he was ready and decided you're the one.
A woman getting married is important especially in our culture. However there is time for everything. Marriage is something that one should be well prepared for emotionally and financially. You should know the person you're marrying very well, have the maturity to deal with issues when they arise and you both should be prepared financially to support the family you will start.
And if you're really in a mature relationship you should know when your man is ready and when he's not because you'd know about his plans. What his dream is, what his current plans are and what he thinks on the topic of marriage.
Are you really sure you're ready for the commitment and responsibility marriage brings? By the grace of God kids will follow immediately after marriage, so have you thought of that responsibility? Do you both have what it takes yet?
You need to consider all these before pushing a man to marry you because all your friends are getting married or because you feel age is not on your side. A neighbor's wife keeps telling me if she'd known she would have taken time to court her husband, to know him better because if she did she wouldn't have married him. But she's realizing that a lot too late. Some of what will determine what kind of marriage you'll have starts from the kind of decisions you make now. As I keep saying the easiest part of a marriage is getting married.
Finally on marriage proposal tips, if you want a marriage proposal, make that known each time you have the opportunity to. If you hear of a romantic marriage proposal excitedly tell him about it. How romantic it is, how the girl must have felt because you know you would feel the same if you were in her shoes. And ask him what he thinks of it?
And if his attitude is like 'I can care less' then insist on the importance of a proposal and how it would really mean a lot to you if a man loves you that much someday to put the effort into giving a romantic proposal. Believe me, if you talk like this once or twice in your relationship when he's ready and decides to marry you, he would propose even if just to make you happy since you've always insisted.
A proposal doesn't have to be over the top or cost you a dime to be romantic, appreciated and be unforgettable. I feel if I am being proposed to my thought will be more on the thought behind the action than how it was executed. And I'm sure that will be the case for most Nigerian girls. But like they say what is worth doing is worth doing well, so if you're proposing you may as well make a statement with it!
Remember how much you spend just to give your girl a treat when you want to? And she may not even remember that treat a few months later. So for something she will remember for the rest of her life, you should give your best shot at making it a great and romantic memory to share.
I hope you found these marriage proposal tips useful. If you did, then don't forget to share with your friends!
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