My Man Isn't Excited To Marry Me Should I Cancel The Wedding?
by Naomi Aina-Marshall
I have some questions to ask you.
Why is my man not ready to commit to me?
We have been dating for 4 years, one of which i travelled to the Uk for my MBA. It seems he is not ready to get married to me. There have been talks between both families yet he snaps and gets agitated at the mention of marriage.
Recently my brothers asked him if he had found a place to rent, and he snapped and disrespected them shouting please leave me alone. I called his mum during the weekend and could hear him shouting don't plan anything, he gets angry when his family calls me.
He called me that same night saying do not talk to any member of my family.
He also made statements such as "I love you so much if you being with someone else would make you the happiest girl in the world I would understand" "Follow a British person and get papers" "I want to try illegal immigrant status in USA" consistently.
I don't know what to do with this guy.
Okay he brought up the idea of express entry Canada and the requirements were decent for us to achieve, as a single person its about CAD12,000 minimum and as a couple its CAD14,000 together. Currently i have £6,000 saved in my UK account and N1m in my GTb. Currently his sister and her husband have moved, and other mutual friends are processing this.
My family thinks why not get married before you finalise your immigration profile and go for your visa interview. Even if its court papers we present he is so hesitant to do anything.
He says everyone is forcing him to get married. He is 30 I am 28. Says he is under pressure. To be honest he earns a decent salary but keeps waiting for his grandmothers inheritance which is still being battled in court for over 10 years, he is so snappy and edgy now, anytime we have a conversation and i don't agree with a point he says " You have questionable qualities as a wife and i doubt if you are good wife material, your decisions and actions state otherwise"
Just because i said i believe becoming a dstv dealer isn't as profitable as buying a land in Ofada so he can invest 2.5m in the land instead of dstv dealership, he flipped on me and said I'm not wife material.
Woke up in the morning shouting at me "why the f--- is everyone asking him to get a place? I am not ready to move out of my father's house. When did i say i want to get married?"
Thinking of letting this guy go. I have memories of good times, and bad times eg having an abortion...
A date has been set for the wedding in December but i don't see myself with this man.
A man not excited to be with me, not excited to marry me, someone not looking forward to being with me, someone i basically forced to marry me. the love has turned to resentment. He was there when his 2 sisters got married, when the younger one's husband was persistent and pushful, the guy even waited 2years for the 1st girl to get married. He applauded the guy for being patient with their family for insisting the older girl married 1st yet he is so frustrated at me.
I am honestly thinking of canceling the wedding. Please help me.
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