You'd think that picking the perfect wedding date would be the lesser of everything you have to worry about when planning a wedding, but that's not the case. Not if you want to pick a wedding date that is suitable for everything and everyone involved in your wedding and even the success of your marriage eventually.
A close of mine is getting married in April. But she was stuck as to what day on April to get married. There were a few things to consider and it wasn't easy for her choosing the perfect wedding date.
Here are a few things about April she had to think consider:
We discussed for at least one hour about an ideal wedding date for her trying to put everything important to her into consideration. However as at when I left her, she was yet to make any firm decision. That's how tough it can be to choose the perfect wedding date. She didn't even consider half of the things on this list and it was still that tough. That's not to scare you, but to prepare your mind. And I hope the list below makes it easier for you to pick the perfect wedding date for you.
There's no document anywhere restricting your choice on this. It's a matter for you and your future wife/husband to decide on. But as for my opinion, I don't subscribe to long courtship. I've seen ladies wearing engagement rings for a few years and I'm like if he wasn't ready to marry you immediately why did he propose? 12 months is even too long to be planning a wedding. 3-6 months is a perfect time.
But if you want a big wedding or must have people in the wedding wouldn't be available for a long time, then wait maximum 12 months. More than one year is punishment to the couple. I sometimes wish the newly engaged can immediately after being engaged go to a court and sign the necessary papers and be pronounced husband and wife. I almost hate to have to wait to start my life with the one I love especially when he and I have decided we want to take the step.
However I can't deny that a big part of having a wedding is to share your love and commitment to each other with as many people that has one way or another been a part of your lives. It starts the marriage on a high note with everyone happy and wishing you both well. To decide how long to have a wedding, it's important to consider the four things that immediately follows below.
This is the first thing you must do. You must be honest with yourselves of how long you'll actually need to prepare for everything you need to have the wedding without ending up obviously exhausted on your wedding day.
Thank God that in Nigeria we don't have extreme weather conditions. However we do have the raining season and picking a wedding date that falls on a raining season and then praying to God not to let it rain on that day is just like daring God. Don't risk it without preparing for the worst.
No one can really predict whether it will rain on a certain day several or few months from now. However avoiding a raining season especially its peak period will give you a good chance of having a good weather. If you do decide to risk having a wedding in a raining season, then make sure you arrange for a place well protected from the rain for caterers to do your cooking in the morning of your wedding and don't have an outdoor wedding.
But even when you succeed in doing this, what of your guests? If it's an average wedding where many of your guests will be arriving on public transports then you could end up having very few guests show up which could dampen the day for you. Read about Nigerian seasons and weddings to understand Nigeria weather better.
If you're not a Nigerian or you're a Nigerian but you're not having your wedding in Nigeria, then you have more to be concerned about when it comes to deciding on what season to get married. Aside the weather you have to decide what theme you want. Do you want the beauty and lushness of spring flowers, the warmth of summer, the craziness of fall or a winter wonderland wedding? Read how natural events associated with the four season's calendar (summer, spring, fall and winter) affects a wedding.
If you're both self employed then this may only matter if you both or one of you usually have a peak period in your business. You're starting a new life you need the money. So it's not the time to sacrifice good business. If you have a peak business period then don't have your wedding on the same month. If you both have an office job or one of you do then you need to consider when you'll be able to take time off work. And just as with your own business, consider the peak business period of the company where you work so that your boss doesn't get reluctant to grant you some time off work. You need your have a honeymoon and be well rested and adjusted a bit to your new life before resuming work.
It's not necessary to consider the vendors you'll use when picking the perfect wedding date. If a venue wouldn't be available or a certain vendor wouldn't be available to serve you when you'll need them you can always find another one. This only becomes important, if for some reason you want a certain reception venue, photographer, videographer etc to serve you. If that's the case then before deciding on the month to have your wedding, first put a call out to the vendor and or the person in charge of booking the reception venue to ask what time is currently available and then book their service right away.
What of key participants at the wedding, do they already have commitments? Find that out too before choosing a month for your wedding. For example if your maid of honor or chief bridesmaid is still in college, will she be having an exam then? Will everyone in your family be available then? Perhaps you have a sibling in another country that would like to attend, or even your parents, you may want to consider their schedules too.
After you consider the last four things discussed above that will give you a good idea of what month to get married. And after you decide on a month the next challenge becomes what day of the month will be best for you to get married. To decide that you want to consider a few things and decide what's most important to you like saving cost, marking a special occasion, the wedding night, etc
If you don't mind going the extreme to save cost, then instead of the traditional wedding day which is weekend, Saturday, you may want to get married on a weekday or even Sunday. Though Sunday is a work free day, some people would rather spend the day resting or doing Christian activities. So you're sure to lose a good number of guests. A week day wedding will also mean more availability of premium reception locations. And vendors will even be willing to give you discounts just so you use their service.
Now this is something no one talks about to consider when picking the perfect wedding date, your comfort on the wedding day and wedding night. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the discomfort that can be brought on by the annoying usually uninvited party crasher, menstrual period. If you're a man reading this you may want to talk to your fiancée about it.
There are a few good reasons to make sure your menstrual period doesn't start on the same day as your wedding.
You risk embarrassment when a bride on white is menstruating. As a woman dealing with it every month, I can confirm that jumping around especially dancing cause a heavier flow more than you're used to. So even when you're well padded you can't be assured that you will not suddenly see a blood stain somewhere on your white gown. It can also be distracting having to always check the back of your dress to make sure you're not stained.
The menstrual period works a bit differently from one woman to woman. For some there's extreme abdominal pain and restlessness for the first day or throughout the duration of the period. And for such women and or others there are premenstrual symptoms, such as waist pain and heavy painful breasts.
You don't want to be dealing with all this on the best day of your life. Not all women have such symptoms. The other day I was talking to one of my girlfriends and when I referred to menstrual pain, she was completely clueless. She claimed she's never experienced something like that and there are many others too who would say the same thing. But even if that's the case with you, would you really like to be wearing a pad on your wedding day? I don't know about you, wearing a pad is not my favorite thing to do in the world.
The wedding night is another thing you want to think about. Granted you don't have to have sex on your wedding night, you'll have the rest of your life for that. However you sure don't want to limit how far your new husband can go with you because you're bleeding down there. You especially don't want to make him wait for 3 days or more to have sex with his wife especially if you both maintained a chaste courtship where your groom has literally been counting days and hours to the wedding to finally have sex with you.
So take into consideration your menstrual cycle. It's easier to know when your next period will be and avoid it if you have a regular cycle. I know a few women whose menstrual cycle has consistently been 28 days since they started menstruating. If yours isn't as regular, then to avoid menstruating on the same day as your wedding, make sure to put 10-14 days gap between the last date of your menstruation and the future one. Meaning if your period has for a few months been starting on a particular date for example say 14th consider a wedding date from 24th. This way you make sure that even if your menstruation takes longer to start on your wedding month, it will be over and done with before your wedding day. Or you can do it the other way round and have your wedding date far away from your next menstruation. Meaning your wedding will be over and done with at least one week before your next menstruation.
If you'll like to get pregnant immediately after your wedding, I mean on your wedding night or on the month you get married, you'll want to pick a wedding date that coincide with your ovulation day or few days before or after your ovulation. Say what you may but the wedding night sex is always special. And wouldn't it be nice if you get pregnant when you're away for honeymoon in one of the most beautiful and romantic places in the world? :)
Read the article preparing to start a family to learn how to deal with the stress starting a family right after the wedding puts on the marriage.
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Maybe your parents have been happily married for 40 years and you want to marry on the same day they did for good luck. Or there's a couple's marriage that's a model for you and you want to use their wedding date for the same reason. You and I know getting married the same day someone else did wouldn't affect your wedding positively or negatively but you want to anyway.
Other dates you might consider are birthdays yours or his, valentine's day, Christmas and New year's day.
When you're considering picking a wedding date to mark an occasion keep in mind that while it may be fun to do so once you may not want to do it forever, which is what you'll have to do with each anniversary you'll have when you go this route. Many of the couples whose wedding dates was on a major holiday have reported that after years of marriage they felt cheated out of the holiday and an anniversary.
Setting a wedding date that coincides with a close family's wedding anniversary will mean your own anniversary will end up overshadowing theirs, and that's something they may not be happy with. It's like taking the attention they deserve from them.
Create your own memories. Make your own history. If you want to pick a date to mark an occasion, let it be something that means something to both of you and your relationship. It should be something you both will remember fondly like the day you met for the first time, the first time he or she said the three letter words to you, gave you your first kiss or the first day you made love, if your relationship was sexual before marriage. The later is more significant if he or she was your first sexual partner. So that the thought of it at each of your wedding anniversary will remind you both of your love for each other, bring you both closer and more determined to make each other happy.
If the special day you want to mark falls on a week day and you don't want to get married on a week day, then choose the weekend of same week. It's close enough and can still achieve the same goal.
There are a few dates you may want to avoid. Like the anniversary of a family member or friend's death. You don't want to be reminded for the rest of your life or want your partner to be reminded for the rest of his or her life of that loss. Generally avoid dates that marks anything that happened that marked either of your lives negatively.
If your fiancé is addicted to watching football, the super bowl etc, you want to avoid going for a wedding date the same as a major match. Trust me it is better not to tempt him. You want to keep his focus on you, the commitment you both are making on that day and the new life you're about to start. Also you don't want people rushing off your wedding to watch a sport match or to keep a commitment brought on by a major holiday.
Remember to consider too when your Church usually coordinate weddings. And if you're having a court wedding, pick a date when the court will be less crowded and you both can be attended to quickly. It's not fun staying hours in the court house waiting to sign the necessary papers to be married.
That's it. When picking the perfect wedding date, it's important that you and your fiancé or fiancée sit down to work things out together so that you choose a wedding date that is right for everyone involved. If you choose to go with a date that marks a special event and you both can't seem to agree on which of the special events to mark, make a compromise. You can always do a trade off like "I'll agree to that date, if you'll let me pick our wedding colors". You can do a trade off on anything actually.
If you're in the 8-5 job, once you've decided on a wedding date, submit an application immediately for a work leave for that period to make sure you'll be granted the days off you need. And let key participants know of the date right away so that they will have enough time to prepare.
In the end a wedding is a celebration of your love and affection and commitment for each other. So in effect whatever date you choose to do that is insignificant. Although I hope you will not take my word for it because everything else that has been said is important to making sure nothing goes wrong when you're having this celebration of eternal love and commitment.
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