"I'm single and happy" is usually just a way single ladies/women use to keep up appearances in public. I doubt it that there is a woman out there who would rather be single than be in a committed relationship (except the few Christian women who'd rather dedicate themselves to Missionary work).
I know there are some women that say they are happy being single but if they search their hearts I'm sure they'd agree they're just saying so because they don't have a better option.
For example, recently Rita Dominic and Genevieve Nnaji both Nigerian actresses were said to have posted the messages below on their Instagram.
The messages themselves say it all.
They are single and happy but not by choice.
I agree with Rita, dating is hard. It's not so simple these days. Love is supposed to be one of the simplest, straight forward and honest things there is. But sadly now love is mostly a game that we're expected to learn how to play in other to win. It doesn't help that some of the so called relationship experts, encourage this too. You see book titles such as Think like a Man Act like a Lady and others that promote game playing for women; that they fake and pretend just to win a man.
When someone loves you, it's supposed to be about loving you for who you are, now if you have to pretend to be who you're not, wear your hair in a certain way you don't like and allow things you're not comfortable with then when you end up getting the man, you get someone who is in love with an illusion, someone you can't be yourself when you're together. In such a situation trust me you'll be happier if you're single.
And that is what some single women have decided to do.
I remember the Interview with Rita Dominic I watched recently where she talked about why she's still single at 40. According to her, she's been into relationships that just didn't turn out as she'd expected and then circumstances too played a part in the breakup of one or more of her relationships.
And Genevieve is likely to have the same reason too.
If you're a true lover just like I suspect these ladies are and you find yourself in such a situation, you may decide to just focus on what you do have control over, yourself; your self-improvement. And usually that means advancing in your job/career. And you try to be happy by yourself while doing that. And that is the best thing any mature single lady who isn't willing to compromise on true love can do.
There are some of us mature single ladies also who tell friends we're single and happy just to prevent them from feeling sorry for us and/or so it doesn't appear to them that we're missing something in our lives.
But usually as I've made clear, most of the women who claim to be single and happy simply settled for it after many frustrating efforts and disappointments at committed relationship. But they have to keep up appearances to the public, make it look like it doesn't bother them. And if you ask me, that's the right thing to do. You can't wear your problem on your forehead for everyone to see. We all as humans have different challenges we're coping with and fighting through in life. Yours may be the challenge to find a marriage mate and another woman's own may be marital problems; domestic abuse, childlessness and so on. We all have to keep up appearances to the public and actually do our best to be happy regardless of the challenge life has thrown at us.
For the single and happy ladies though, it's not easy to be happy behind closed doors. We long for someone to love that will love us back, someone to care for real, someone to go out with, someone to share the good times and bad times with, someone that will come home to us everyday, even someone to comment on our cooking skills every now and then. It's a lonely world when we let ourselves think about it. But like I've said since it's not a situation we have control over, we'd rather focus on things we can control instead which is our personal progress, finding ourselves, improving on our jobs/careers, self esteem etc; generally become a better person we're proud of.
Moreover there's nothing worse than being a mature single lady and not be able to take care of your own needs. It forces you to become very desperate to settle down and it wouldn't be for the companionship or your happiness anymore but just to have a financial supporter.
Yes, as at writing this, I'm a mature single and happy lady too. And for the most part I've been glad to be single for this long. I've learnt a lot as a result that will help me in the rest of my life including when I do get married. If you're still single, looking for a husband , currently in a relationship, engaged and about to be married, I invite you to read my love relationship stories and the lessons I referred to in my just released book: The Journey To Finding Mr. Right. There's a lot you can learn from it to benefit yourself as a single lady, when you're choosing a spouse and when you get married.
Are you single and happy? Don't pretend to be or think you don't need a man in your life just because you hear some women say so and to you they seem to be doing well regardless. If you can see what goes on behind some of their closed doors you'll know that some of them cry alone to sleep some nights holding tightly to their pillows.
Getting married makes sense. For the same reason it made sense to God to create Eve for Adam; because he realized Adam was the only living thing then that had no companion.
We all need that special person in our lives and the longing for such companionship that comes only from someone you're in love with that is committed to you is especially high when we reach a certain age. I remember many years back when one of my elder sisters in her late twenties then told me she was lonely. Four of us ladies lived together so I was surprised and didn't understand what she meant. So I asked her "you're lonely when we're here?" She realized I didn't understand. So she said you won't understand. But I did; eventually. When I too got to my late twenties and was still single and started feeling that type of loneliness she felt I remembered our conversation then and I finally understood her.
Finding the right man for you and for him to propose marriage to you isn't something you have any control over. If it's taking longer for you to find your Mr. right then all you can do is make people believe you're single and happy so they don't put you under more pressure. And do make the effort to actually be happy while you also make yourself available to find a marriage mate.
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