Wedding mistakes is almost inevitable. Even the best well prepared bride and groom still have some regrets after the wedding. You know, that thing you forgot to do and/or wished you did better.
This section of the forum is to point out very costly mistakes that can be avoided on the wedding day and also to welcome true confessions from former bride and groom about their biggest wedding planning mistakes. This is to guide brides and grooms to be from real wedding experiences so that they can reduce wedding pitfalls to the barest minimum.
The things that had gone wrong could have been easily avoided if I had just known. If someone had told me about these common mishaps that can occur at a wedding or during your wedding planning, everything would have been so much better.
So have you been a bride or groom? Use the form below to share your biggest wedding regret(s) with us.
What did you wish you did better or what wouldn't you have done if you'd known any better?
What did you forget to do?
What wedding dilemma did you face on your big day?
Was there any wedding miscalculations?
You can't go back and change what happened but through your experience and wisdom future brides and grooms can avoid making same wedding mistakes.
But if you're a bride to be first read some of my tips for wedding planning that follows below and then read the confessions of real brides and grooms to help you avoid the very avoidable wedding mistakes.
If as a bride to be you're facing a wedding dilemma please use the form on the wedding questions page to tell us about your dilemma.
This is my first tip because of my elder sister's experience on her wedding day. Did you know the hundreds of programs that were printed for the wedding bible service was all wasted? It seems the programs were forgotten in the car and nobody thought of it till the program was over! So delegate and delegate more. If you're not hiring a wedding coordinator, delegate important tasks to trusted family members and friends. And emphasize to them how important it is that they take their tasks seriously!
In Nigeria we used to say "sew your coat according to your size" but that has been rephrased now to "sew your coat according to your cloth". Now it doesn't matter if it fits you as long as it's what you have! Yeah, why sew a dress if it won't fit, I know. But you get the point.
Draw up a budget for your wedding. The importance of having a wedding budget has been so emphasized by wedding planners that it's becoming a cliché. But it's that important.
Your wedding planning starts with a budget.
How much does the groom have?
Is the bride willing to contribute, if so much is she willing to contribute?
Who else is willing to contribute and how much are they willing to contribute?
For the average Nigerian, some of the parents money will go into the wedding. But parents don't usually specify how much they're supporting the couple with. So either make them tell you and give you what they have for you so you can be sure of it or make your wedding plans according to what you and your bride or groom can afford. This is so that you don't budget for cash you're not yet certain of only to be disappointed eventually.
When you're sure of your budget, make great effort to stick with it. Keep your budget in mind anytime you're visiting any of the wedding vendors.
Revise your budget regularly. What can you cut on and save on? You're starting a new life and budgeting is a skill you must master to succeed in that new life; and what better way to master the skill than when planning your wedding!
There's a lot involved in planning a wedding. But of all that is involved what is most important to you? What aspect of the wedding will bother you most if the things go wrong?
For me it's:
The rings - Because it's what represents my commitment publicly and so it's not something I want to be changing often.
My look (hair, makeup, dress) and that of my Groom - Because my wedding will likely be the best moment of my life and pictures last for a long time.
The choice of songs and the wedding dance (Good DJ with a list of songs I select and good sound systems) - Because I want to sing, dance and have as much fun as I can.
These are the most important things to me.
So figure out what is most important to you and make sure when planning the wedding those things are well planned for.
I'll add that whatever you do, make sure you have a DJ that knows what he's doing, has good sound systems and good songs that applies to the wedding day ready. I attended a wedding where the DJ was just confused and the event was really boring. Everybody was complaining throughout the wedding. The wedding day is a joyful day; people came especially to rejoice with you. Give them that opportunity.
Getting married is a big deal. You've finally found someone you can call your own, someone that is yours only perhaps after several failed relationships. So it's tempting to go all out and invite friends to celebrate the joining of you with the love of your life. But remember that the more people you invite, the more trouble you'll have in your hands. Like are there enough seats? Will the food be enough? And so on.
The common mishap in Nigerian weddings is the food not going round. Sometimes it's not the lack of enough food but of good management. Whatever the case, the smaller your guest list is the more you'll be able to entertain your guests to satisfaction.
Everybody you know doesn't have to be at your wedding. It's better you have fewer guests and satisfy their needs completely and have them tell all those that weren't there how great it was, than to invite many people and have 50% leave the venue with bad report!
You're the one getting married not your mum nor your dad. Keep reminding yourself that and anyone who tries to push his or her wish on you. Do this politely but firmly. If you don't want to have lots of wedding mistakes then be in charge of your wedding, you and your bride/groom to be.
Even though you're hiring a wedding planner, make sure the ideas and taste is yours. Not of someone else especially not of a celebrity. You're different and they are different.
Someone is a celebrity shouldn't suddenly make their wedding taste your taste except of course you honestly like their wedding.
Thank God Nigeria doesn't have extreme weather conditions. But then if you're planning a wedding for raining season, do have an alternative plan. I've heard of cases where weddings were almost ruined because of heavy down pour. There was one case where the roads were flooded badly and the bride's car engine was affected and refused to start. Someone had to volunteer to carry the bride across the flood to another car. Imagine the scene, a bride with a white down and mud everywhere.
There's not much you can do if it rains on your wedding day except if you're having your wedding reception in an open ground make an alternative for an indoor reception venue just in case.
For the bride...
For the groom...
Do not hold a bachelor or bachelorette party the night before your wedding. Bachelor parties usually involve lots of drinks and even flirting. I won't lecture you about your morals you use your discernment. But the drinking is what can cause for some big wedding mistakes because you can end up getting drunk and wake up with a hangover on your wedding day. Or if you managed not to drink, you wake up looking stressed and half asleep.
Also make sure those with important wedding roles such as best man and grooms men don't get drunk a day to your wedding too or stress themselves unnecessarily.
We'll be glad to read about your wedding regrets, pitfalls and/or wedding dilemma you faced.
No, sharing it with us won't change anything for your own wedding because it's past. But with your true experience you can help thousands of brides and grooms to be who would read this page to avoid costly wedding mistakes.
So please do tell!
If you enjoyed this page, please consider sharing it with your friends: