Why do people get married? It's almost a silly question but one that makes sense too; especially because it raises a whole lot of other questions.
I mean with so much fuss about getting married, people thinking that they are not complete until they get married, some ladies even doing whatever it takes to get a man and society thinking that a woman's achievement is nothing until she gets married you wonder why marry? Why is it so important? Especially if you happen to be someone that hates doing something just because the society expects it of you.
After all do you have to get married to feel complete or be happy? Can't you be single and happy? Or isn't it enough to have a boyfriend who loves you and that you love? Do you have to sign some documents just for others to approve of your love? Does signing some document of commitment to someone you love make any difference in your relationship?
I have wondered about some of these questions too especially when I am being pressured to settle for a man because "you're not getting any younger" they say. So I understand very much. And in this article I try to answer thoroughly the question why do people marry.
There are varying reasons people get married. However for most people the reason they get married date back to same reason God created Eve for Adam and instituted the first marriage ever. And that is for companionship. God created domestic animals, flying creatures and the wild beast and they all had companions, the male lion and the female lion, male goat and female goat etc. And only Adam had no companion.
Genesis 2: 19, 20 there says:
Now Jehovah God was forming from the ground every wild beast of the field and every flying creature of the heavens, and he began bringing them to the man to see what he would call each one; and whatever the man would call it, each living soul, that was its name. So the man was calling the names of all the domestic animals and of the flying creatures of the heavens and of every wild beast of the field, but for man there was found no helper as a complement of him.
And the bible in Genesis 2:18 tells us that God then decided to create a companion for Adam:
And Jehovah God went on to say: "It is not good for the man to continue by himself. I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.
And he did just so. After he created Eve he blessed their union thereby setting in motion the union of two people, a man and a woman in marriage.
Genesis 2: 21-25:
Hence Jehovah had a sleep fall upon the man and, while he was sleeping, he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. And Jehovah God proceeded to build the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman and to bring her to the man.
Then the man said:
"This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. This one will be called woman, because from man this one was taken."
That is why a man will leave his father and his mother and he must stick to his wife and they must become one flesh. And both of them continued to be naked, the man and his wife, and yet they did not become ashamed.
This is exactly what marriage is for people today. It was an arrangement God started a long time ago and what he wants for us so that we don't become lonely and be stumbled to sin.
There comes a time in one's life when you start to feel lonely, you realize you need someone in your life, someone to talk to and who would listen to you, someone who will make you feel loved and protected, someone you can call your own. And that's when people start to feel the need to get married.
Of course you can. No one is saying you have to get married and even if some are like immediate family, ultimately it's your decision. If you're single and you're just happy the way you are, then alright. You don't have to get married because others are doing it. Even the bible supports that if you think you can remain single without involving in fornication, you should. But if you know you can't or sometimes feel the need for companionship or to have sex, you should get married.
I Corinthians 7:7-9:
Now I say to the unmarried persons and the widows, it is well for them that they remain even as I am. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to be inflamed with passion.
For more bible scriptures about marriage see the articles bible verses about getting married and marriage itself and Christian views on marriage.
No it isn't enough. The truth is generally men value and respect more a woman they marry than someone who is just their girlfriend and vice versa. You may have heard some guys say things like 'after all I'm not married to you' 'listen you're not yet my wife' and so on. It simply shows that a 'wife' commands more respect for a man and the society at large than a girlfriend does. And a married man or woman will be more resistant to cheating on their mate than a boyfriend or girlfriend will.
And a man that really loves a woman will have no problem marrying her. For us humans choosing to get married to someone we're in a relationship with, is our greatest demonstration of love for the person. It shows a person love someone enough and proud of them enough to want to present them in front of family and friends and declare their love for the person.
Don't see the act of getting married as a document being signed to stay committed. Instead see it as a proof of love because marriage indeed is the ultimate level of commitment. If you love someone and in a relationship with them don't you want to feel that they love you and are committed to you? A man who willingly asks a woman to marry him and a woman who willingly accepts to marry a man, proves in no uncertain terms that she is indeed in love with the person and willing to commit himself or herself to this person. There's no human companionship greater than that of a husband and wife. For according to God's word in the book of Genesis 2:24 quoted above a man and woman after being married become one flesh.
Of course it does. It changes a lot.
First your partner will truly owe you something. He or she will owe you their commitment; to love, to be honest, to care for you, to always be there, to always support you etc. In a relationship there are no such guarantees. So because of this level of commitment, after marriage you feel more secured in your relationship. You truly feel like part of a team, a team that will always work together to achieve the best outcome no matter what.
Therefore you become more relaxed and grounded. You feel a lot more complete because you've reached a life long satisfying relationship. Now you're sure someone will always be there to worry about you, to support you to achieve the best in whatever you want, you will never have to feel alone anymore, together you can work to build a satisfying life.
Getting married, consciously or unconsciously you invite God into your relationship because you've followed his arrangement of things. Therefore you can be sure to have a third party in your marriage that you can rely on as long as you let his words be a guide for your marriage success.
You have sex with your partner with a clean conscience. No matter how wayward the world has become where having sex outside marriage is seen as normal, if you're someone that cares about your morality, then you'll think this is important too. There's a reason many in relationship still wait till the wedding night to have sex.
Even if you're not a Christian and therefore don't believe in the bible, at least you care about your self respect. It's debatable whether a man respects you any less if he has sex with you before marriage; but it's not about how the man feels towards you because of it it's about your respect for yourself. That is why sometimes some women even some men after having sex outside marriage feel bad afterwards. There's always the thought lurking around your mind: 'does he love me or is he just using me'. But when you're married you won't have to think about that. And you will have the right to sex with your partner as much as you both want.
If you have kids together they are not seen as bastards or illegitimate children who have no legal rights of their father.
Finally there's a great benefit too in signing a document of commitment with someone you love and that is it gives you some legal rights. Such as if one of you has health problems and had to be hospitalized as a legally married partner you are given access to your partner and you can make critical decisions on their behalf. You can share health benefits too as a legally married couple and financial support for your kids will be sure whether or not you and your spouse remain together in future.
These are the reasons why people get married and why you should too; but only when you feel ready.
Continue reading... Reasons to get Married Even with the Risk of Unhappiness and Divorce
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